Unique Dilemma

This world is full of people who are really tenacious about the things they like or about the convictions they have in their mind. I wanted to discuss this topic more explicitly but certain constraints prevail upon me at this point of time, which have forced me to make this conversation veiled. Although the representation of the facts may be veiled, but the characteristics are not. Hope my readers (again I would say that I hope there are a few!) will not mind it much because one should be interested in the essence and not the way things are descript. I have a strong conviction for an idea of leading life the way I want it to. And I believe everyone do have such ideas. But due to some natural distinction in characteristics from ‘people’ at large, I have something different in my mind. I know that everyone believe that he or she is the unique person and to a great extent it is true as well. But it is also true that despite of it that person dwells within a defined boundary of characteristics. The people falling within those closed boundaries are homogenous in terms of those characteristics. Your uniqueness then can be measured in terms of the population of those closed boundaries. Although again I would like to add that a person is again a unique being even in that closed boundary as within that closed boundary the ‘other’ characteristics may differ. I have made this entire preface just to prove the contradiction of uniqueness cum homogeneity. I too belong to a closed boundary of characteristics meaning thereby that I too am not an altogether unique person in this world. Further I have certain ‘other’ characteristics which make me distinguished from the population of that closed boundary. The height of contradiction or irony is that, although the qualities which are very rare in the closed boundary to which I belong are generally accepted and respected in the world, but at the same time the general qualities of the closed boundary are looked with awe or disgust. Those readers who are used to of reading and understanding the things in general terms would have realized the difficulties which I might be facing! The result is that I have lost the sense of belongingness to anyone. The moment I disclose my certain features which are common to a particular group of thinking and/or behavior, I loose the sympathy of all other people, and when I happen to divulge/show my those characteristics which are unique to me (and I have realized that those are very very unique to me) although I earn some respect of few people within and outside the closed boundary… I loose the belongingness to both. My tenacity is also coming in the way to my happiness, as I guess! Tenacity in the sense that, I want to retain both type of characteristics. And the end result is that I feel that I am altogether lonely in this world. I feel that people are laughing at me. I feel that I belong to no one in this world. But despite of all this I am not able to leave my so called ‘tenacity’. People may call it audacious but I call it natural! Really don’t know if I am right or wrong!

Detachment

Contrary to my last post on attachment, I am tempted to write about detachment. Literally it means non-attachment. But empirical meaning may differ. Further a question arises, what are the paths which may lead a person from the territory of attachment to the territory of detachment. The ideal path goes through the judgment of un-prejudice and objective mind. But that path is seldom found by human being. The other goes through the forest of bitter experience and most of the people stray here. Personally speaking, I have myself often taken the second path or perhaps I am led by some un-seen force to that path. Anyhow the result is that one has to go through lot of troubles in realizing that the attachment which you had or have, been unwarranted for. But that does not guarantee a total detachment. Despite of all the bitter experiences in the way our heart refuses to believe that it was wrong! We often try to search and often succeed in fooling ourselves. This inherent weakness in the heart of every human being except a few ‘lucky ones’ is so strong that one has to fight life long to remove it! Only few succeed. And remaining are dragged in a futile war with non but themselves.